Subject: Blonde jokes.... Author: 750il96erbill : member since December, 2006 : 1697 posts Posted on: 2008-08-20 14:50:07

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; Likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said , 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian..
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'

96 Isuzu Trooper LS 230000
01 Isuzu Trooper LTD 107350 daily driver
01 F150 Supercrew XLT 112500
The Old 96er, 117525, Born on date 9/1995
Oxford Green Metallic

Mods - Ultimate Cupholders, style 118 wheels and Bridgestone Turanza Serenity tires - 235/50ZR18, Led Tailights, Modded UGDO with solder, Depo Clear Corners w/silverstars.
Fixed/replaced - Upper windshield seal, Sunroof gasket, E-brake pads, upper backrest motors, cluster (BMWNA), trunk struts, engine cover, radiator, anti-freeze, fresh oil & filter, Wagner thermo-quiet front brakes, traction struts, control arms, strut links and bushings, 20% Tint including brow & sunroof, Radiator Shroud, Headlight Lense Drivers, Oil filter housing bushings, caps and rotors, entire headliner recovered, including pillars, sunroof and UGDO/switch panel, switched to synthetic oil Valvoline 20w 50... To do; Center link and tie rods, headlight lense, foglights.

• Blonde jokes.... - 750il96erbill 2008-08-20 14:50:07 (99 views)
  • Forwarded the lot to my blonde sister, Thanks! (nt) - RobinK 2008-08-29 13:59:52 (16 views)